I'm back!
I started this blog at one point a few months back and stopped because I am GREAT at self doubt. Like, GREAT. I wanted to focus on weightloss and then I would fall off the wagon while dieting (whether WW, or calorie counting on MFP, or whatever my latest and greatest idea was) and while tracking food, if I had an indulgence (whether planned or spontaneous such as someone bringing me a treat) seeing that number when I counted it "bring down" my day led me to an INSTANT spiral. One donut being worth 11-12 points when I get 26 in a day? And then eating something else that wasn't a "free" food and all of a sudden seeing my points dwindle and my weekly points go down? What used to be a great tool for me with WW (and no doubt still is for SO many people!) became a thing that brought on this crippling anxiety and the feeling of "ruining" everything. Which led to binge eating. Which led to restricting. I have felt so much shame about myself and my body and m...