I'm back!

I started this blog at one point a few months back and stopped because I am GREAT at self doubt. Like, GREAT. I wanted to focus on weightloss and then I would fall off the wagon while dieting (whether WW, or calorie counting on MFP, or whatever my latest and greatest idea was) and while tracking food, if I had an indulgence (whether planned or spontaneous such as someone bringing me a treat) seeing that number when I counted it "bring down" my day led me to an INSTANT spiral. One donut being worth 11-12 points when I get 26 in a day? And then eating something else that wasn't a "free" food and all of a sudden seeing my points dwindle and my weekly points go down? What used to be a great tool for me with WW (and no doubt still is for SO many people!) became a thing that brought on this crippling anxiety and the feeling of "ruining" everything. Which led to binge eating. Which led to restricting. I have felt so much shame about myself and my body and my food for YEARS. And for the first time? For the first time I am not tracking (even though it's still a battle in my mind each and every day and the points and/or calories list themselves in my mind with each food I eat anyway) and focusing on eating with the goal of - H E A L T H - ringing in the forefront. I am making a point to get my body moving each day in a way that FEELS good to me (no strict workout plans - waking up at 4:30am the last FOUR DAYS #proudAF and choosing a random workout dvd out of my selection of handmedowns and Beachbody dvd's) and getting in walks at lunch which I LOVE while the weather cooperates. I feel a calling to write and always have so I decided to NOT give up on myself on this like I did once already. So welcome to my blog. I may get a few readers, I may get none. But I'm doing this for me, because this past birthday earlier this month has set a new tone and I plan to make this a year where I do one thing - focus on loving myself a little more & becoming the healthiest and best version of myself I can!

Thanks for reading if you've stuck around, and here's to day 4 of loving on me and moving my body, and here's to my first FULL WEEK of quitting dieting and learning how to change my whole damn lifestyle!

Until next time xo.